Rupert's Paris Diary

Friday

Arrived at Waterloo and five or ten minutes later the rest of you turned up. Had to go through huge barriers and then past a bag search; I got away with it (as did someone else) but a few got their bags searched. There were kids everywhere—going to Eurodisney? There was also a dodgy brass band dress strangely. We wandered around WH Smiths for a bit (Steve bought a Q and a few of us bought books) then we went up a really huge escalator to get to the train.

The train journey—we ended up in a fairly empty carriage and sped along quite quickly in odd spirits. I think we were either reciting 'A Partridge In Paris' or translating songs into French, or maybe translating 'A Partridge In Paris' into French. There was also the bilingual 'in flight' magazine although I don't remember much about that. I don't actually remember going through the tunnel at all.

In Paris we blundered into the centre on the metro, there were some odd double-level trains around, and adverts for 'Powerball' dishwasher powder and a supermarket or grocery delivery thing (I think). We met Muscles at the platform at Le Guichet and wandered up to the hotel. We then all sat in (what became) Mike's and Steve's room and drew lots for bedrooms; Mike ended up with Steve, Dave with Amal (in absentio) and me with David T. I think we took some time to unpack and relax before heading out for the evening. We watched TV, but I can't remember what was on. (One afternoon we saw a film festival show with star interviews, but I can't remember which day or who the stars were.)

Back into the centre and sat down outside a small restaurant for something to eat and by the time it had come to me everyone else had ordered croque monsieurs so I gave in to peer pressure and we ordered five croque monsieurs!

We spent a while walking through the city, passing through the courtyard of the Louvre, and paying tribute to Prescott many times. We walked though a park, I think, crossed a huge road marked as a sundial using a nearby pillar (Cleopatra's Needle? I think it was an Egyptian obelisk anyway).

Was that the Les Anciens Gaulois night? If it was, you all probably remember better than me! I remember a basket of much veg and bread, followed by garlic sausages (some rock solid!) and some wine (which wasn't unreasonable after a few glasses!). There was also much singing.

Walked to Gare du Nord to meet Amal, which turned out to be miles. Steve tried to vault a bollard: I think he just missed, catching his feet and ended up on his face. I had to restrain myself from having a go too.

Arrived early at the station so Steve bought a ridiculously expensive round at a local bar and nicked the glass. Went to the station to meet Amal, and I think Alan's "A. Partridge in Paris" got used although I don't relly remember how. Amal walked past a few people before someone finally grabbed him.

Tube back to the hotel and off to bed. Don't remember any events on the way home.

Saturday

Went down for breakfast (forget what time). Breakfast was unlimited supply of croissant, honey and jam (although really had to search for strawberry), fruit juice and hot chocolate (in two flavours). Muscles joined us, and thoroughly enjoyed himself.

We visited the Eiffel Tower on Saturday morning, left photos of David on the internet with silly messages and admired the view. There were little plastic pots of luncheon meat on the stairs on the way up, which I think someone suggested was food for hungry dogs? On the way down, Amal and I stayed behind to look at one of the displays and lost the rest of you, but then ended up going back to ground level first.

We walked through the centre of town (collecting a fatwa or two as we passed embassy after embassy) to the Champs Elysées where we eat upstairs in what looked like a chain sandwich bar. We investigated the Arc de Triomphe, and everybody laughed at Chris for reading the brass inscriptions on the floor, although I can't remember why. Then strolling pastel photos were taken. Afterwards, we walked down the Champs Elysees, towards the Louvre, sat down for a while, before heading away to where Dave nicked that bread off a pigeon and we went for a coffee stop in a brasserie. After that, we found the rollerskating kids, Dave went off and we headed home to get changed.

Then we headed back into town and met you somewhere (can't remember). We definitely went for a coffee inside a very narrow (and, I recall, expensive) bistro but I can't remember if that was before or after we went home—probably before. After meeting back up, we decided to walk to Sacre Coeur which lead to disgruntlement both because some people didn't want to walk anywhere lest they sweat, and also because Chris lead us through some rather dangerous looking neighbourhoods.

We ended up eating at the back of a seafood-type restaurant, with a red checked linoleum tablecloth and fine art placemats. Muscles had muscles, I think. After the meal we wandered back to Notre Dame to see the cathedral lit up, and to walk up and down some steps in the manner of Partridge. We spotted on the way the 'St Regis Brasserie' although we never made it back to try it out.

Sunday

Amal left at some point on Sunday, but I can't remember when.

After breakfast, a few of us went to see Chris's lab since it was his turn to monitor the liquid nitrogen cooling system over the weekend. He took a cup of liquid nitrogen to show everyone on the way home, but David used it to torture poor insects en route. (I think he wanted to attack something bigger like a bird but Chris wouldn't let him.) We took the train to Versailles, via an extended change where we left the station for cakes and drinks from a local patisserie. I don't really remember a lot about Versailles; we took one of the tours where there was a hall of mirrors and another hall with many busts of French soldiers and sailors set against paintings of historical famous French victories. Whilst waiting for pot-stoppers at the end, a number set about graffiting the stones in the courtyard with 'Christophe M.' and variations on that theme.

We returned to the hotel to relax for a few hours before heading out semi-smart for 'supper'. Chris thought he'd take us to a local pizza place that came well recommended but it was closed. We wandered further and further towards some town I can't remember and saw all manner of restaurants but they were all also closed—eventually we ended up in a pizza place and got a round table on the upper level near the entrance. We spent some time mulling over the options (including an extra egg on top of the pizza!) and I think we got a bottle of wine or two. I ended up getting a pepperoni or proscutio or ham-like pizza, I think.

Deserts—I don't remember having anything but I think most people did. Chris went for something huge, as usual. And there was, of course, the Colonel himself. There was much discussion of future rituals to be, including the selection of destination. I remember candidates included Rekyavik, Barcelona and Dublin and I think a few German cities too.

Since we'd already paid Chris stayed over at the hotel in Amal's bed (and the accompanying paid-for breakfast).

Monday

Checked out and went for a final breakfast. The quality of croissants had been deteriorating throughout the stay, frankly. Some hassle about checking out first and then going to breakfast, but I think we sorted it. Got on a train quite early, chilled out at the station for a bit and went for a drink at the station café. I remember someone had circled all the spelling, grammar and accent errors on the menu and there were quite a lot. Someone upset Steve and we only left a five centime tip.